Queen Elizabeth reclaims US

Have borrowed this awesome piece from Diana Christova



To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). (I love that one)


Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' ' (I love that one too)

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)

8.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!
By: Diana Christova

the more energy one puts into serving others. ''energy'' meaning 'genuinely interested action', as against a show of serving someone. Let's take the fresh case of Yousuf Pathan. Fm his 'not incredible' IPL earnings, he contributed rs.1.5 lacs for a largescale community marriage in gujarat. N anyun who has seen evn a single intrvw of pathan knows tht the man's all heart, n has pbbly not thot of it as sm great work of charity. N dis energy has simply gathered momentum n made him the finest player against the unplayable south africans. More power to you pathan.

life doesn't need a reason

in a world where miseries abound, smiles are rare, beauty goes unnoticed and joy is at best fleeting, our minds fail to comprehend the logic behind all tht is happening! N there begins the endless running around n seeking - why, who, what, where....till one day you realise tht life isn't really doing anything or trying to get anywhere; it just is.

dont give in.....

the subject is the post.

truthfully yours

the first step in being honest, is to be clear with yourself about what you want. Then accept it as the truth to yourself. Most falter here itself n then half lies n lies we begin to consider as the truth. Once u clear abt your truth, stick by it like a faithful companion. Else the truth cn do you no good. Lies serve more to deceive ur own self rathr than others - poor imaginary shields; to hide ur own lack of conviction. The truth might seem harsh, but tis liberating. N though ppl mite react initialy unfavorably, the truth itself will win them over. Such is the nature of truth.

this is for real

in my train, guy n friend watchn terminator on laptop vid friend n many curious onlookers...pbbly dwnloaded fm sm WAN OR website....dis is whr da world is headed....entertainment when i want, where i want n on any device i want...communicatn paradigm changin - ppl choosing content hosted on sm server or device anywhere in the world. Fgt one to many communication, tis now many to many. Better rengineer urself...

oMG

fm da time i remembr clearly of, i've had dis burning desire to meet the Creator. For no particular reason, just tht i must meet God while i was still alive. Dying n meeting i was very suspicious of...long long journey - thru happiness, thru sorrow n everything in between beyond. The fire grew stronger till one day, i met my Master. She seemed to know me thru n thru, though v'd only just met. But this much i knew, i'd reached the only way there is to get an attendance with the Creator. But in all my carelessness still kept stumbling everywhere, relying on my Master to pick me up again. Till finaly one day my Master decided to let me on my own, with only Her past advice n love for company. Well Ma i finally made it.